September 29, 2010

{Paying Attention To Love}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
During the busyness of wedding planning, there are lots of things to pay attention to -- yes? Let me remind you of one more...but this one will make all the other tasks easier and simpler! Pay attention to how you are breathing -- your inhales and exhales. When we're busy and rushing about, we usually take short, fast, shallow breaths (which makes us more tired.) Taking deeper, slower inhales and longer, softer exhales will relax you on the spot! Try it right now...slow, easy, deep, relaxing breaths.

Here's a little secret: When you pay attention to your breathing, you are also paying attention to love. How does that work? As you pay more attention to your breaths -- slowing it all down and taking deeper, softer breaths -- you are more at ease...your mind becomes quieter as your body relaxes. And as you relax and let those noisy thoughts just drift by, the world around you becomes quieter and you get closer to the true feelings of your heart...you can feel what your heart is telling you. Listen in....

In the quiet and ease that comes with paying attention to your breathing, you are more available to express love and acceptance...and let more love in. Like magic. (And a little icing on the cake: When you realize how much better it feels to slow down and breatheeeeee, you also just might realize that you can accomplish more and take care of yourself better while you're doing it!)

Now isn't that worth paying attention to? Okay, deeeeeep breaths....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Brian Wagner]

September 22, 2010

{A Wealth of Fertile Wishes}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Did you know that flowers, cakes, and children used as a part of wedding festivities through history were all originally symbolic of the desire for “fertility”? Many ancient customs came from the wish of the community for the couple to be blessed with children as well as an abundant and full life. Times have changed through the centuries, but a community’s “fertile” wishes of well-being and happiness remain universal.

How does your community express tradition? Even if your community’s ways are not how you do things now, there is still a way to include what’s at the heart of the matter—their love. And whether or not you use any rituals or traditions for your wedding (putting a coin in your shoe, cutting a big wedding cake, having a flower girl, tossing a bouquet, ecetera!) you will be just as married, just as capable to live an abundant life, and just as able to find ways to include your community’s well-wishes of love!

What could be more “fertile”...more beautiful?


Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Sarah Merians Photography]

September 15, 2010

{Be a Goddess for a Lifetime}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
The tradition of the white wedding gown is neither universal, nor is it very old. Queen Victoria of England, at her wedding in 1840, was not the first bride to wear white, but her grand influence set the “bridal white” fashion in motion . . . and the rest is history.

Wearing white has always had a ceremonial and regal quality—for whatever occasion—taking on a kind of radiance. In my costume history research exploring goddess mythology, I find a heritage of shimmering white gowns worn by ancient luminous deities who embodied the female essence of beauty, strength, and love. Goddesses all! Perhaps then, as a bride, you are indeed the “epiphany of the goddess.” Hmmm . . . try that on for a moment. (Take a long, slow breath deep into your body and just imagine how it would feel to be a Goddess.) Then allow that goddess awareness to draw you closer to your own feminine nature and breathe in its soulful beauty.

Just know that whatever you wear for your wedding—a white gown, a colorful kimono, or a pair of jeans—you carry something of the goddess spirit with you! Your ritual costume wraps you in a bit of “royal lineage” that now simply becomes a part of who you are. As I’ve told brides for years, Don’t settle for being a “princess for a day”—be a “goddess for a lifetime.”

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Kristin Spencer]

September 8, 2010

{A Gift for Your Heart}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I just finished a lovely series of book signing and speaking events. I shared with guests stories and ideas from my new book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself—and was delighted that many folks not only bought the book as gifts for friends and family, but also “felt” the intimacy of its message.

In the book, I invite readers to come go on an exploration with me. It’s a journey that taps into the ancient wisdom and magic of the past where you uncover some of the mysteries of your bridal rite-of-passage. As you take a few calming deep breaths, the journey gently spirals inward—like a long soothing sigh—into a quiet still space where you feel more peaceful and present. Here you are invited to “look inside to find yourself” … and there, with eyes open wide, you get a glimpse of your heart’s desire.

Now who could ask for anything more while planning your wedding? Whether it’s a book’s message or a relaxing deep breathing exercise or a meditative practice to keep your heart open—give yourself a gift of tender loving care ... a gift for your heart.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia 

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

September 1, 2010

{Treasured Words}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Words have magic and power to them. Words that you and your partner consider for your wedding vows are treasured “borrowed wisdom.” You may choose sacred words from an old religious text or something from your ancient heritage, like the Cherokee Wedding Prayer or Celtic Blessings, or perhaps from literature, such as Shakespeare’s Sonnets. Whatever source you borrow from . . . the words are a gift. Even if you write your own vows, these are words that have resonated with other ageless lovers searching for that perfect expression of the heart.

As you speak the words of declaration at your wedding, don’t rush. Allow their energy and rhythm to flow deep inside you, feel them in your heart, moving you to a new place of love and commitment.

Here’s an idea for a bit of wedding ceremony practice: During the “busyness” of wedding planning, why don’t you and your partner choose favorite love poems to read to each other as a way to stay connected. Close your eyes if you’re the one listening; gently deepen your breathing; and as the words are spoken, see if you can feel them in your body. Practice until you can feel your heart open so you know the difference ... and then when those treasured words are spoken at your wedding, your heart will be ready!

Love. Listen. Let go.

...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: David Willems]