September 27, 2017

{Something Blue & More}

I recently saw in Bride magazine online a new article: “51 Something Blue Accessory Ideas for Your Wedding Day”—lots of sexy blue shoes, neat little clutch-bags, drop earrings that looked more “honeymoon” than “wedding gown,” lacy lingerie, even blue-trimmed sunglasses! Calling the Something Old, Something New bridal ritual “an age-old tradition” (it’s not!), the article, like so many about modern weddings, was full of fashion fluff and low on womanly depth. Fashion ideas for your wedding can be fun, but sometimes it overshadows the real focus—your relationship!

In that spirit, I want to share an excerpt from my first book, The Bride’s Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself, that focuses on the Something Old, Something New bridal rhyme, with a modern yet folkloric—and very femininetwist!  In the book, I call the something blue part of the bridal ritual: "Something intimate and magical. A sweet and tender connection to something divine; a reminder of the depth and eloquence of love without conditions." See below for more something history....

Wedding traditions, to borrow a phrase from Carol McD. Wallace in her book All Dressed in White, have “complicated roots.”

Take the rhyme, “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence for your shoe”—the familiar little verse that became a beloved personal ritual for generations of brides. The rhyme itself may not be that old, but the customs it describes have been around for centuries. In cultures worldwide and for as long as we know, there was some sort of superstitious custom for brides to tuck a little token of abundance (pieces of bread, a lump of sugar, coins, a bit of ribbon, a silver charm) into their purse, glove, or shoe or sew the items into the hem of their dress. This was all done in the desire to call forth good luck, great fortune—including lots of healthy children—or some magical promise of love forever!

Shoe historian Cameron Kippen reminds us that “a long standing bridal superstition stated no harm could befall a bride wearing blue.” Through the ages, wide-ranging references to the color blue surround it with compelling and even divine properties. The color is often associated with the Virgin Mary and is cited in Geoffrey Chaucer’s fourteenth century “The Squire’s Tale” from The Canterbury Tales as a symbol of truth and faithfulness.

With such rich folkloric history, it stands to reason that somewhere along the way, some sentimental poet put it all together in a romantic rhyme. A rhyme composed, perchance, as a gift to an adored bride, her name unknown to us now, but like brides before and since, their images became an icon of womanhood.

This is only a bit of the mystery and superstition around the Something Old, Something New rhyme—the most feminine of all wedding rituals. Enjoy more stories with your own copy of The Bride’s Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself. ~

September 13, 2017

{A Woman's Radiance} Redux!

To celebrate the return of the romantic Outlander series on television this month, I'm repeating a popular post about what it took to make the bride's 18th century gown to literally "glow" in well as a few insights about a woman's glow at any time! Enjoy....

For this 18th century wedding set in the Scottish Highlands, the costume designer wanted Claire—the bride and heroine of the Outlander series—to literally glow. “I wanted a dress that would be incredible in candlelight,” Terry Dresbach shared. This wedding—and forthcoming marriage and relationship of Claire Beauchamp Randall and Jamie Fraser—was the foundation of the immensely popular Outlander books and subsequent television series, therefore the direction from the show’s creator (and Terry’s husband) was that “this moment needed to be a fairy tale.”

“In the 18th century, metallic fabrics were made with actual metal woven into the fabrics,” explained Terry in Variety magazine. “When you put [the original costumes] in a room filled with candles, they just glow. They’re quite remarkable.” By incorporating delicate shavings of iridescent mica as well as an old, time-consuming embroidery technique using metal strands, Terry was able to be true to the spirit of the era while also creating something stunning and shimmering for Clairereluctant wedding ceremony.

Of course as a fashion historian and wedding folklorist, I loved reading about the creative process of designing this gown. But I also write about a bride’s rite-of-passage, her personal inner journey, and her deep desire to be as beautiful as possible on her wedding day! In my 30 or so years working with brides, I find this desire for beauty a universal expression of the feminine spirit, tapping into a womans true goddess nature, her radiance.
Reading about the Outlander’s costume designer’s wish for Claire and her gown to glow, I thought of Regena Thomashauer, best-selling author and founder of the School of Womanly Arts in New York City. The heart of Regena’s work encourages women to find and express their true desires, their self-love, their inner and outer goddess, their glow. “Glow creates beauty in women of all ages, all body types, all backgrounds.” And when you glow, you not only want to dress to show it off, but you just naturally attract and inspire what’s beautiful in others.

Is that the reason women are so attracted to the fairy-tale quality of “being a bride”? The masculine power grid of modern culture doesn’t really encourage the rich, deep, loving expression of feminine values, so a woman’s wedding becomes a rather rare opportunity for her to glow; a time for full-tilt-boogie radiance! But I would encourage all women, every dayno matter where you are in your lifeto open your heart, to shine your inner light, to choose radiance! ~

Claire and Jamie's candlelit wedding in Outlander
(All images from costume designer Terry Dresbach's blog)

September 6, 2017

{20th Anniversary - Excerpt No. 5}

To complete our 20th anniversary Princess Diana memorial, I'll share another book excerpt noting a moment from her wedding day...perhaps, from our perceptive as we look back, it was a moment that looked into the future, and illuminated her spiritual mission. (From my upcoming book, From Princess to Goddess & the Rebirth of Love...the second book in The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride series.)

{continuing excerpt from}
Chapter One: Princess Mission

Did this young woman, who became a princess on her wedding day and after a long, winding road, the ‘queen of hearts’ upon her death, ignite a pathway for a consciousness shift of the heart? Was this a signal for the return of a nurturing goddess spirit intended to nudge along the occurring paradigm shift where we see a flowering of feminine strength and influence? 

During a life fluctuating between tedious soap opera and compassionate healing, how could we imagine then that Diana would be showing a way to, in the words of spiritual thinker Xavier Le Pinon, “educate the heart” on how to be tender, open and immaculately loving? In all the pomp and glamour and personal drama, it was easy to overlook her spiritual mission.

There was an exquisite bridal moment that summer-lit wedding morning on the red-carpeted steps of St. Paul’s Cathedral, captured in a memorable zoom-lens photograph, where Diana—veiled in what seemed to be the ancient mystery of womanhood—paused to look back. Perhaps it was simply to check the fluffing of her impossibly long train, stretching down the staircase; but then you see her eyes, piercing through the veil as if with an inner knowing, glancing toward some distant past in support of encouraging her forward. Was Diana standing in for all future brides at a time when they, too, pause at their nuptial doorway to embody, no longer a woman’s loss of power and self-expression, but the female essence of beauty, strength, forgiveness and love? ~

[Scroll down for earlier {20th Anniversary} posts excerpted from