{Something Blue & More}

I recently saw in Bride magazine online a new article: “51 Something Blue Accessory Ideas for Your Wedding Day”—lots of sexy blue shoes, neat little clutch-bags, drop earrings that looked more “honeymoon” than “wedding gown,” lacy lingerie, even blue-trimmed sunglasses! Calling the Something Old, Something New bridal ritual “an age-old tradition” (it’s not!), the article, like so many about modern weddings, was full of fashion fluff and low on womanly depth. Fashion ideas for your wedding can be fun, but sometimes it overshadows the real focus—your relationship!

In that spirit, I want to share an excerpt from my first book, The Bride’s Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself, that focuses on the Something Old, Something New bridal rhyme, with a modern yet folkloric—and very feminine—twist!  In the book, I call the something blue part of the bridal ritual: "Something intimate and magical. A sweet and tender connection to something divine; a reminder of the depth and eloquence of love without conditions." See below for more something history....

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Wedding traditions, to borrow a phrase from Carol McD. Wallace in her book All Dressed in White, have “complicated roots.”

Take the rhyme, “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence for your shoe”—the familiar little verse that became a beloved personal ritual for generations of brides. The rhyme itself may not be that old, but the customs it describes have been around for centuries. In cultures worldwide and for as long as we know, there was some sort of superstitious custom for brides to tuck a little token of abundance (pieces of bread, a lump of sugar, coins, a bit of ribbon, a silver charm) into their purse, glove, or shoe or sew the items into the hem of their dress. This was all done in the desire to call forth good luck, great fortune—including lots of healthy children—or some magical promise of love forever!

Shoe historian Cameron Kippen reminds us that “a long standing bridal superstition stated no harm could befall a bride wearing blue.” Through the ages, wide-ranging references to the color blue surround it with compelling and even divine properties. The color is often associated with the Virgin Mary and is cited in Geoffrey Chaucer’s fourteenth century “The Squire’s Tale” from The Canterbury Tales as a symbol of truth and faithfulness.

With such rich folkloric history, it stands to reason that somewhere along the way, some sentimental poet put it all together in a romantic rhyme. A rhyme composed, perchance, as a gift to an adored bride, her name unknown to us now, but like brides before and since, their images became an icon of womanhood.

This is only a bit of the mystery and superstition around the Something Old, Something New rhyme—the most feminine of all wedding rituals. Enjoy more stories with your own copy of The Bride’s Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself. ~

{A Meandering Path}

Dear Bride-to-Be: 

I always find my customers and audiences curious about the origin of wedding rituals: tossing the garter; exchanging rings; the “something old, something new” rhyme; the bride’s bouquet. These are rituals and traditions so familiar, even comforting, that we’ve accepted them into our modern celebrations—yet a mystery remains.

Their origins are hazy; different societies added different meanings and their practice usually took a meandering path through the centuries, making some hard to trace. Wedding traditions, as author Carol McD. Wallace shares, have “complicated roots.” That’s why I consider wedding rituals come from sacred legends or a kind of fairy tale: folklore from our heritage revealing itself a bit mysteriously.

Whatever rituals and traditions you use in your wedding ceremony—whether in a gilded cathedral or grand synagogue, on some lofty mountaintop or in a serene garden—choose ones that touch your heart, light up your relationship, and move you to deeper expressions of love.

Love. Listen. Let go.

….with love from Cornelia

[This is excerpted from my new book, The End ofthe Fairy-Tale Bride {Volume One} For Better or Worse, How Princess DianaRescued the Great White Wedding.]

[Photograph courtesy of Vogue.]

{Princesses, Heiresses and Weddings}

Dear Bride-to-Be: 

I thought you’d enjoy my article published in the summer issue of Season Magazine. Click here to read it from the online magazine...and I’ve reprinted it below. ’Tis an excerpt from my new book The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride {Volume One} For Better or Worse, How Princess Diana Rescued the Great White Wedding.

Princesses, Heiresses and Weddings

“We knew that we wanted Diana to have a large bouquet,” explained her gown designers David and Elizabeth Emanuel. “The scale of the dress meant that a small one would have simply disappeared.” With the universal appeal of Princess Diana’s shimmering wedding in the summer of 1981, over-sized, shower-style bridal bouquets became the fashion. (Of course, most things in the glitzy, high-flying ‘80s were on a grander scale!)

Almost a hundred years earlier, Princess May of Teck (who became Queen Mary, Prince Charles’ great-grandmother), started a similar trend when she carried a huge, cascading bouquet for her 1893 wedding to the future King George V. It was called “a modern touch” because its “shape had only recently ousted the posy,” shared historian Ann Monsarrat. The 19^th century English journal Manners for Women attributed this “extravagant fashion to the influx of heiresses from the New World into British society through marriage.” These were daughters of the nouveau riche of the Gilded Age who took their fathers’ immense wealth abroad between the 1870s and early1920s to marry cash-strapped noblemen, like the character of Cora Crawley on Downton Abbey. They not only rescued a way of life for the British aristocracy—at least for a few years—but also lent their opulent taste to wedding celebrations.

Charles Frederick Worth, an Englishman who set up shop in Paris, became the father of modern couture—and a favorite designer of these rich American girls who in turn became famous for their expensive Worth wardrobes and diamond tiaras. They spent thousands every season at his salon and when the time came, ordered a dazzling wedding gown and fancy trousseau. Consuelo Vanderbilt, Jennie Jerome and Frances Ellen Work (Princess Diana’s maternal great-grandmother) were three of those nearly 500 heiresses from America who put their glittering mark on weddings.

During this time most British princess brides followed Queen Victoria’s lead and, instead of wearing one of the many diamond tiaras at their disposal, opted for the more sentimental choice of an elaborate, yet rather humble, bridal crown made of wax orange blossoms. However, many of the American heiress brides, more into opulence than sentiment, wore diamond tiaras—usually a gift from their father. 

Perhaps to make a proclamation all their own, several Windsor brides of the 20^th century (namely Princesses Marina, Elizabeth, Margaret and Anne) also broke with the orange blossom tradition and chose diamonds for their hair—large, old, spectacular ones. So for her wedding, Lady Diana followed suit by wearing the Spencer family tiara: a whimsical floral design in gold, silver and heirloom diamonds. (And as far as I could tell, there was not an orange blossom in sight!)

Weddings have always been a time to dress up, make a statement and dress like a princess. As author Carol McD. Wallace shared: “If a wedding isn’t the ultimate chance to show off, what exactly is it?” ~

{Felt With the Heart}

Dear Bride-to-Be: 

I always find my customers and audiences curious about the origin of wedding rituals: tossing the garter; exchanging rings; the “something old, something new” rhyme; the bride’s bouquet. These are rituals and traditions so familiar, even comforting, that we’ve accepted them into our modern celebrations—yet a mystery remains. Their origins are hazy; different societies added different meanings and their practice usually took a meandering path through the centuries, making some hard to trace. Wedding traditions, as author Carol McD. Wallace shares, have “complicated roots.” That’s why I consider all wedding rituals a kind of fairy tale: folklore from our heritage revealing itself a bit mysteriously.

So as a bride, whatever rituals you choose for your wedding, choose from the wise part of your mind and the generous part of your heart … then you will surely create a wedding celebration full of love and beauty! As Helen Keller reminded us: The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.

Love. Listen. Let go.

….with love from Cornelia

[Excerpted from my new book, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride {Volume One} For Better or Worse, How Princess Diana Rescued the Great White Wedding.]