{Bring Intimacy Back to Weddings}

Dear Bride-to-Be: 

“Weddings are increasingly notable for their amazing lack of intimacy, their evolution into industry,” commentator Jacki Lyden wrote in a report for NPR several years ago. And in our overly-commercialized, up-noised, garish culture, I share this idea over and over in an attempt to urge couples to “look inside” and follow their hearts first when planning their wedding.

In my book for same-sex couples (The Handkerchief Has Been Thrown!—just re-published in print form), I remind the reader of this dilemma. Suggesting ways to return intimacy to the wedding celebration, I encourage gay and lesbian couples to not just follow the fashion of “traditional” weddings, but to set a new standard inspiring all ceremonies to be more real and from the heart.

Unfortunately, Bridal Expos—those big gatherings that bring wedding vendors together with potential brides, grooms and assorted entourages—tend to boost the commercial, big-sexy-party aspect of modern weddings. (I was invited to have a book signing at a first-of-its-kind Same-Sex Wedding Expo recently. Aaaargh!! The epitome of “lack of intimacy.” Please guys, you can do better!)

Whether you’re marrying a man or a woman; whether your wedding is teensy-tiny or ballroom huge; whether you’re on a mountaintop or in a grand cathedral, you may want to hear what journalist S. Bryan Lowder has to say:  “I’m a gay man who wants to get married. But how do I have a wedding that’s not so … straight?” In other words, you don’t have to copy-cat the matchy-matchy, ho-hum aesthetic of many mainstream weddings—trends that have squeezed all the depth and intimacy out of the ceremony and celebratory festivities.

So, planning a wedding? Just don’t forget to bring your good taste, good sense, and especially your good heart along with you!

Love. Listen. Let go.

…with love from Cornelia

[Couples photograph: Courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings]

The Handkerchief Has Been Thrown! 

Something Old & Something New for Same-Sex Couples 

is available on Amazon.

{A Handkerchief for Your Wedding} Part One: "Keepsake Vows"

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Are you writing your own vows or perhaps rewriting some beautiful old ceremonial text, like from The Book of Common Prayer? The words spoken at a wedding carry more than just promises and declarations, they carry the rhythm and heartbeat of your deeper self. (Don’t dismiss their potential power by not giving them thoughtful consideration.)

Here’s a lovely idea that requires you to put attention on your vows early on. In arrangements made long before your ceremony, calligrapher Anne Elser, using her graceful script, will write your vows in permanent paint on a handkerchief—yours or ones from her vintage collection—so you’ll truly carry the words of your heart with you down the aisle. And, if needed, you’ll have a little “I Do” assistance at the altar as well as a beautiful keepsake.

For those of you who have read my book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself, (or remember my shop from years ago) you’ll know that handkerchiefs—especially fine vintage and antique ones—are dear to me. And I consider a charmingly serviceable hanky a must for every bride (and groom) to carry on their wedding day (for tears, runny noses, moist brows, dewy palms—you get the picture!) So this post begins a new series featuring the practical yet mysterious handkerchief. Revisit here often for bits of folklore that will tickle your heart (and maybe learn a handy-hanky tip or two.)

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

ps: Tune in for “hanky installment” Part Two coming soon!

[Photographs: (top) Josie Miner; (bottom) Martha Stewart Weddings]

{Five Minutes to Ease}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Yes, you’ve heard me say over and over how important it is to have a little quiet reverie in your day during your busy wedding planning time. And you’ve said, “I want to, but just don’t have the time!”

Okay, try this. And don’t add it to your “to do” list—a list that’s much too long anyway! And don’t think of it as “something else to do,” but more like a luscious gift to give yourself. Just say: “I’m taking care of myself inside and out today!” (And did you know that when you are more relaxed and centered, you are also more creative and loving?)

Start now...it only takes five minutes, or less. YOU deserve it!

Sitting quietly with your eyes closed and breathing through your nose, count each deep, slow inhale (one) and long, soft exhale (two), inhale (three), exhale (four); continue slowly until you get to thirty. And if you lose count, just start over at number one. (Like planning your wedding, it’s not a race to the finish line; it’s a journey to enjoy as you explore your true heart’s desire....which tends to show up inside that inner quiet.)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Cheryl Wiles of arisit i]

{Your Bridal Spotlight}

Dear Bride-to-Be:

One of the “mantras” I shared with brides in my former shop, as a reminder to really pay attention during their quintessential rite-of-passage, was something like: “However you ‘be’ while planning your wedding is how you’ll ‘be’ in your marriage.” And years later when I read the expression, “how you do anything is how you do everything,” it seemed the experts agreed with me!

 

Use the bridal spotlight to notice ways you’re being while planning your wedding that you want to leave behind (that are not the best to deepen a loving relationship) and those ways you’re being that you want to take into your marriage (to nurture that relationship!)

Working with countless brides through the years, I urged a woman to use her time in the bridal spotlight to look inside, listen for her inner voice and be still for its message. I also encouraged her to love her body just the way it is, to ask for what she needed and don’t be afraid to make “unreasonable” requests in support of her well-being, and, if possible, find someone who is a wise listener she can talk to about anything. 

The inner-process of a bridal rite-of-passage—which can be a very intuitively expansive feeling—is the perfect time to deepen relationships with family and friends while hearts are already open. It’s the perfect time to complete any withheld communications, to say the “hard stuff” with love, to heal old hurts and wounds, and especially to practice forgiveness.

Be the bride who grows into the most loving partner. Be the woman you want to become.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia
 

[This is an edited excerpt from my new book-in-progress The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride that shares about how Princess Diana used the bridal spotlight to bring her joy and pain. If you want to read more from this section called "Loving the Skin We're In," click here.]

[Top photograph: Julie Mikos]

{Weddings from a Simpler Time}

Dear Bride-To-Be:

There is no formula to have a beautifully intimate wedding. When love has infused all the wedding plans, a large grand cathedral setting can feel as intimate as a tiny chapel or an outdoor gathering celebrated under old oak trees!

 

One of the "blessings" after the economic shifts the last few years is that I've attended more thoughtfully planned weddings where intimacy wasn't sacrificed for extravagance...where realness and elegance were both present. (Does the lack of unlimited budgets—or perhaps more accurately, the lack of unlimited credit—pare down even “high end” weddings as well help restore intimacy to all ceremonies? Perhaps economic restraint begets thoughtful conversations when it comes to planning a wedding! Hmmmmmm.)

 

I've always loved weddings that use the beauty of nature and it seems "simplicity" and "natural" and "authentic" are words that are now considered very chic and stylish for weddings. There is a refreshing return to "vintage-inspired, rustic and whimsical weddings that go for charm instead of glitz," wrote Whitney Friedlander for the LA Times. [See her article featuring a wedding set in a National Forest.]

 

And of course Martha Stewart and her editors are famous for sharing glorious outdoor wedding ceremonies that are full of nature's beauty and spontaneous intimacy. [See their coverage of this wedding in the Italian countryside.]

The appealing Green Wedding Shoes blog is clever at finding naturally inspired weddings bursting with whimsy and enchantment—and lots of love! [See more about this wedding at an Herb Farm on Long Island.]

Whatever kind of wedding you are planning or dreaming about, look within, open your heart, and connect to everyone with love. (Yes, even grumpy Aunt Harriet and the caterer who was always late for appointments!) Then intimacy will come naturally to your wedding wherever you gather.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

{A Girl-Chat Reminder}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
At a recent series of book signings for The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself, I had some lovely chats with visitors at my table—where there was a basket of pretty vintage linen handkerchiefs with other bridal accessories I had for sale. And so many times the chats turned to why a bride needs a handkerchief!

Therefore in the spirit of a friendly woman-to-woman reminder, I thought I’d share one of the dozens of RitualWise Bridal Notes included in my book:

 

Let’s have a serious girl-to-girl chat! As modern and savvy as you are, you know that sometimes “old-fashioned” is the way to go. So be sure to have a “serviceable” handkerchief with you during your wedding ceremony.  

It’s perhaps the most sensible and practical thing you can do on your wedding day: for tears, a runny nose, damp palms, or for dabbing his moist brow.

Trust me…don’t go down the aisle without one! 

In the days when I had my designer bridal store (where I always kept a stock of “best-selling” pretty vintage handkerchiefs), I went to hundreds of weddings. And the most frequent “mistake” I saw was a bride at the altar without something to discreetly take care of a runny nose. (And you don’t need an “extra hand” for your hankie. Just tuck it into your palm for easiest access.)
 Part of our “feminine smarts” is to be able to take care of the little things gracefully and the big things with even more grace and favor. These practical—and sometimes old-fashioned—things (like having a “serviceable” hankie) can add ease and comfort to nervous times…and make a beautiful bride even more beautiful.

 .

 

And for more of these girl-chat reminders, you may just need to get your own copy of The Bride’s Ritual Guide—because who else is going to tell you these things?

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia




ps: The Bride’s Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself became an Amazon bestseller when it was released almost three years ago so I hope the word is spreading about the need for brides to carry a hankie down the aisle—plus other fem-fem tricks of the bridal trade! Click here to order an autographed copy or two of the book—one for you and one for anyone who loves stories from the heart—and receive some free gifts as well.

pps: I’m continuing my sabbatical from weekly updates to the LETTERS TO A BRIDE blog so I can finish my new book, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride: How Princess Diana Rescued the Damsel in Distress, for release next year.

I hope you enjoy the autumn season wherever you are and whatever life-changing adventure you are up to...and I will stay at work in my mountain writing loft with “the princess”!!

[Photograph courtesy of North Carolina Dream Weddings.]

{Springtime Inspiration}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
From ancient goddess folklore comes the story of Brigit -- also known as Bride in the Gaelic form -- who was considered the maiden goddess of springtime. Doesn't it makes perfect sense that an origin of our bridal traditions comes from the essence of spring: an abundant, life-giving time of renewal and beauty? And it's a glorious season to have a wedding!

If you are a bride during this new growth, shades-of-green season, then your inspirations come touched with goddess magic and love.

And as I continue my blog sabbatical to focus on finishing my new book, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride, I call on this womanly, goddess-like support and beautiful, renewing energy of springtime as well...and I use deep, easy breaths to help my work, well, bloom!

Give it try: Take a deep, slow breath...then another 'n another...and feel the ease and comfort it brings. Whenever you are having your wedding, the pleasure of it all increases if you slow down, find some quiet time, and take luscious, easy, deep breaths and enjoy the beauty of the season...and you'll be more present for your wedding.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: While I continue to work on my new book, I'd love for you to take a look at my other book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself. Brides of all ages and "seasons" have enjoyed its stories and message ever since Amazon released it to best seller reviews! Women say they learn things they never knew about weddings, being a bride, and how to enjoy the experience even more. And when you order the book using these links, you'll receive free gifts: two relaxation CDs and a vintage six-pence to bring abundance! Ahhhh...the gifts of springtime!

pps: I'll keep you posted on the progress of The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride...its release planned for later this year!

[Photograph: Ian Grant]

{Sweet Winter Dreams}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I will be taking a "winter sabbatical" from my weekly postings on this Letters To A Bride blog! I'm down to the last stage of my new book's rewrite and need to focus my attention there so it will be ready for release in 2012!
In the meantime, enjoy the archives here -- lots to choose from: stories of wedding history and folklore, ideas for aromatherapy and flowers, relaxation tips, bridal mythology that may surprise you, influences of royal brides, and more! And come see me at my upcoming book's companion blog, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride.

I'll keep you posted with the new book and any news that I think you just might want to hear about! For now, enjoy your sweet winter dreams....and go explore some luscious quiet time.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photographs: Daniel Sheenan]

ps: And if you need the perfect gift of the heart for you or another bride-to-be, remember that my current book (and an Amazon best seller!), The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself, is a sweet reminder of the intimacy and feminine delight of a woman's bridal rite-of-passage. Whatever you do, be sure to celebrate You everyday...!

{Relax & Go Have a Glorious Day}

Dear Bride-To-Be:
There is a wise Chinese proverb that says: “Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”

Wherever you are in your wedding planning process—just thinking about it, in the middle of making lists, only a few days away from your wedding—it’s probably a busy time for you! Yet it doesn’t have to be tense; you don’t have to be tense. So take a deep...slow...easy breath and just relax. Although it may seem at odds with how you feel since being tense has become the new “normal” in our hectic world, but be a bold trailblazer! Shine some light in all the frenzy and change your default setting to “relax.” 

I know, I know. In our busy noisy world, we have made relaxation “hard”—but you can make it easy and lusciously refreshing for yourself. One way is to simply sit alone quietly for a few minutes in a peaceful spot ... slowly, softly, deeply breathing in and breathing out. Paying attention to your breathing is a chance to quiet your busy mind and allow your body to be at rest. This little practice would be a gift of ease and heart-opening softness for yourself ... even if it’s only five minutes of quiet solitude a day. (It will make a difference in how you feel, how you look and how you see the world.) Do this for yourself and by doing something relaxing for yourself, you’re doing it for everyone around you.

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” So be your authentically beautiful self and slow down, breathe deeply and relax. Then go have a glorious day.

Love. Listen. Let go.

....with love from  Cornelia

[Photographs: Josie Miner]

{Tying the Knot}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
As you're preparing for your wedding, you will hear and see lots of familiar "wedding expressions" in your daily routine that are actually rooted in the past. Like "tie the knot"....

You've probably heard some of the stories of its origin: how a couple would tie a rope or scarf in a ceremonial knot as a wedding ritual, symbolizing their connection and faith to each other. Perhaps you know of someone who has used a version of the ritual in their ceremony.

But did you know that the original ceremony -- from the ancient Celtic culture -- was a very intricate weaving that would entwine the couple's hands within the knot at the same time? This Celtic love knot pattern consists of complete loops that have neither a beginning nor an end. It was difficult to do and took a lot of practice by the couple, becoming like a meditative rehearsal for intimacy. The purpose was not only to create a "symbol" of the continuance of life and love, but was actually to help create or deepen an intimate bond between the couple.

Imagine doing this ceremony with your beloved: you are standing face to face; you feel the cording on your skin as it connects the two of you together; your hands become entwined; you are drawn even closer as you look into the eyes of your beloved, that intimate moment of looking into the "mirror of your soul" through another.

This is the purpose of all ancient wedding rituals: to create an intimacy of connection for the couple; to connect hearts for a lifetime. And the wisdom of the Celtic love knot ceremony takes it even deeper: entwining the heart of your relationship for inner-growth and self-discovery ... and the experience of practicing unending love together. Relationships don't always last, but the love that brings people together can indeed be everlasting with a little bit of practice.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

 [Photographs: April Groom]

{Heart-Full of Rituals}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
What’s a wedding without some sort of ceremony, and what’s a ceremony without a ritual or two, and what’s a ritual without a bit of mystery? The rituals of wedding ceremonies—such as exchanging rings, repeating vows, dressing in special clothes, sharing a big cake—are all intended as outer expressions of your inner transformation. Subtle changes that are close to your heart. Rituals act as guideposts on this rather mysterious transformational journey called being a bride, this womanly rite-of-passage.

In my book, The Bride’s Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself, I share the most feminine of wedding rituals that are inspired by the charming wedding rhyme: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a sixpence for your shoe. Don’t miss connecting with other women with these essentially “being a woman” rituals and gestures that hold a bit of that feminine mystery.

What rituals are you using for your wedding? Give them special attention like wise gifts from the past and see how their magic goes deep into your heart.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Priscilla Wannamaker]

{Celebrating YOU Every Day}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I’ve interviewed hundreds of women through the years with questions about their wedding (or weddings.) Some of them were brides only a few months before and for others it had been decades. Women usually remember the moment they first saw themselves in their wedding gown. Some recall that it was like seeing a cherished, intimate part of themselves seldom shared with anyone.

Wedding dresses can evoke deeply personal, interlinking stories as women wistfully describe details of the design of the dress or how wearing it made them feel. “Every woman should see herself looking uniquely breathtaking, in something tailored to celebrate her body,” Susan Jane Gilman exclaims in her entertaining book, Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress.

There is something extra feminine about being a bride that you don’t want to miss ... a chance to explore a sense of outer and inner beauty, tenderness and strength, and a nurturing spirit. These wedding planning times are precious moments that invite you to celebrate your womanliness. And you don’t have to wait for your wedding day, or stop doing it on your wedding day, or even have a wedding day for such a celebration! You can celebrate you every day—body and spirit.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

{Take a Deep Breath & Choose with Love}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Be patient with yourself during this busy wedding planning time. Sooooo many decisions to make--don't let frustration take over. Trust your intuition and keep your vision on the bigger picture--your well-being and your relationship--and allow the love and support you find there be a buoy for you. What you need will show up at the perfect time.

Here's a tip: Use the power of your breath and take a thoughtful pause before making a decision. Breathe deeply and slowly (inhaling and exhaling through your nose when you can). Let your breath settle you, and in that quiet space, pause. Inside that pause is the here and now...the present moment...a gift...all you need to know...the perfect you. Now, choose with love. (And see what a pleasure your choices become!)

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph by: Brandon Bannon]

{Listening for Stillness}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Yes, you O Beautiful, Busy Bride! Take a few minutes each day to listen for stillness to help ease away stress and keep your inner voice tuned to your joy channel! If it’s your pattern to stay revved up, spinning into a busy swirl—thinking that you don’t have time to relax because there is so much to do—then you actually may accomplish more if you took at least one three-minute quiet break during your day. Work Efficiency Experts that know about these things declare: Slow down and accomplish more!

Here’s a little exercise you can do as often as possible to help slow down and relax:

•    Find a quiet, comfy place where you won’t be interrupted. (And if you can’t do that, just sit in your desk chair.)
•    Sit with your spine as straight as possible and close your eyes.
•    Put attention on your breaths—if possible, breathing through your nose for more relaxation—and slow each breath down so that you feel your belly gently rise with each deeeeep, slow inhale and fall with each sloooow, soft exhale.(Inhale, 1-2-3-4. Pause. Exhale, 1-2-3-4-5.)
•    Keep doing this until you feel yourself relaxing. Drop your shoulders, relax your jaw, stretch your fingers and toes as you continue keeping your attention on each breath.
•    And listen. Listen for the stillness inside each breath. Listen for the stillness inside your heart. Listen for the stillness deep in your body.

And as you listen within, what you just might hear is how deliciously sweet stillness sounds when you’re not focusing on your busy mind chatter. As you breathe slowly and deeply, listening within, you realize the messages of your joy channel are just a breath away!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Priscilla Wannamaker]

{The Intimate Wedding}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
A lot has been written about how intimacy is missing at weddings these days. In a special feature titled, "The Spectacle of Matrimony," Jacki Lyden of NPR News described it this way: "Weddings are increasingly notable for their amazing lack of intimacy, their evolution into industry....they've evolved into must-haves and appointment-list mega-spectacles."

Okay. I know that planning a wedding is a busy-busy time: growing to-do lists, details to handle and then handle again. You want your wedding to be beautiful -- you want to be beautiful -- so, of course, you put attention on your dress and hair, the flowers and food, the photographs and favors...the special trappings of a wedding that we all love.

But sometimes "relationship" gets left out. That can sound like an oxymoron given that why people are getting married in the first place is about, well, relationship! Brides can get so caught up in the frenetic swirl of "planning" the wedding, that sometimes not only do they get lost, but their connection to their partner gets lost -- or at least a bit strained -- and intimacy is squeezed out.

So no wonder that intimacy is missing at the wedding ceremony if it goes missing in your connection to your partner and family -- the real heart of the matter of weddings, yes?

Slow down, take a deeeeep breath, relax, feel into your heart, listen to its message, and recalibrate your priorities. (Those details can wait for awhile!) Then go give some love pats to family and friends and that sweetie of yours! (They've missed you.)

Love. Listen. Let go.....
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb]

{Something Positive & Wonderful}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
“The alarm clock rings, your eyes pop open, and you’re immediately off to the races, filled with anticipatory dread about the day’s myriad tasks,” writes Jon Spayde in his article “Reduce Stress with a Calming Morning Ritual.” This is not only a stressful way to start the day, but according to Dr. Judith Orloff, it is a “missed opportunity” as well.

“The biggest barrier to serenity in the morning is in your own head: It’s how you frame the day,” Dr. Orloff says. And Jon adds: “But if you can do some simple reframing as soon as you wake up, the morning can be a great time to carve out some calm space and time for yourself, and set yourself up for a more peaceful and productive day.”

Dr. Orloff, author of Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, recommends a simple three minute meditation as a morning ritual:  

“You simply breathe, center, and focus on something positive and wonderful. Do it for only three minutes — because limiting it teaches you to find emotional calm quickly.” 

(This is Dr. Orloff’s “wake up” meditation, but I think it’s great any time of day—like when you feel the tension ratcheting up! And it’s even a great exercise to do right before bed to relax and ease into a restful night’s sleep.)

Jon suggests this addition that I love: “Placing your hand over your heart during the meditation can add an additional element of warmth and self-soothing.”

And here are some tips that I add: Be sure your breaths are slow, deep and full. (Still can’t find your center?) Keep your eyes closed, listen for the quiet in your breath, and smile. Then the something “positive and wonderful” could be how more peaceful and efficient your day goes after this calming start.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb]

{Letting Go of Perfection}

A wise teacher wrote: “Our lives become beautiful not because they are perfect. Our lives become beautiful because we put our heart into what we’re doing.”  Planning your wedding is the same. The look of your wedding, its design and decoration, the music choices, the decisions about your gown and what the bridal party will wear—all the trappings of the wedding—are enhanced by and become truly beautiful when your heart is open and generous, and you make choices from that heart-full place!

Let go of “perfection.” Let go of burdensome expectations set up by outside influences: wedding industry hype (your wedding is not the most important day of your life, it’s the beginning of a bold adventure); let go of what you think your family or friends want of you (underneath it all, what they really want is for you to be happy); let go of whatever you made up about “perfection” (either there is no such thing, or everything is perfect—you choose!)

Look inside, open your heart, feel the love you’re finding there ... and fill your wedding with the love you discover and it will be the most beautiful imagined. This is the perfect gift to yourself … and to all those you hold dear.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: David Willems]

{Truly Divine!}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
As you are choosing flowers for your wedding, remember that the sense of smell is considered “the most ancient and magical sense, acting as a sort of sensual medium between heaven and earth,” according to author Christopher Bamford. “A scent or perfume was thought to express the inner essence or spiritual nature of a thing.”  Therefore using fragrant flowers for your wedding is like sharing something truly divine!

Use your wedding planning time to express your inner essence. When you feel yourself getting stressed or when your “to do” list keeps getting longer, pause…

• Now take several slow, deep breaths ... easy, slowly breathe until you find your center.
• Imagine roots from the bottoms of your feet sinking deep into the Earth, grounding you.
• And now in every gesture and expression you offer to others, give the most generous and grateful version of you. 

That’s your inner essence! Don't be stingy with it...spritz everyone you meet today with something divine! A little bit of you....

Love. Listen. Let go...
...with love from Cornelia

ps: This series of "aromatherapy, brides, and weddings" continues next week...it'll be divine!

[Photography: Daniel Sheenan]

{A Gift for Your Heart}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I just finished a lovely series of book signing and speaking events. I shared with guests stories and ideas from my new book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself—and was delighted that many folks not only bought the book as gifts for friends and family, but also “felt” the intimacy of its message.

In the book, I invite readers to come go on an exploration with me. It’s a journey that taps into the ancient wisdom and magic of the past where you uncover some of the mysteries of your bridal rite-of-passage. As you take a few calming deep breaths, the journey gently spirals inward—like a long soothing sigh—into a quiet still space where you feel more peaceful and present. Here you are invited to “look inside to find yourself” … and there, with eyes open wide, you get a glimpse of your heart’s desire.

Now who could ask for anything more while planning your wedding? Whether it’s a book’s message or a relaxing deep breathing exercise or a meditative practice to keep your heart open—give yourself a gift of tender loving care ... a gift for your heart.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia 

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

{Lit From Within}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Are you still busy looking for the “perfect” wedding dress? Or have you found the gown that simply calls your name . . . that you feel beautiful in inside and out?

No matter what stage you're in with your wedding activities, remember that “a wedding gown does not a bride make”! I’ve worked with brides of all ages—from seventeen to eighty-seven, from first marriage to more than three—and every bride in love is lit with a “fairy tale quality” no matter what she was wearing. Being loved and being in love does that: lights you up from within, surrounds you with blessings, raises you above the mundane.

So it's not a beautiful gown that makes a woman a beautiful bride. That glow of beauty comes from wearing her love like a warm, generous embrace. . . and sharing it with everyone along the way.

What do you need to put into place in your life right now so you don’t lose—or at least so you can recapture—that “lit from within” feeling after the wedding . . . when life settles down and becomes “normal” again? What do you call on at those times when love doesn't feel so special . . . when you don't feel beautiful in whatever you are wearing?

Look inside yourself to find your light, your magic. . . that place where love resides. Then breathe that light in so you become familiar with how being present to your “inner light” feels. Make it a practice so you can return to that essence at any time—especially when life feels more like a fractured fairy tale than that falling in love lightness! And remember, even at those stressful times, your inner light is always available to call on . . . just look inside and fall in love with yourself and the whole wide world over and over again.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb Photography Studio]