{Gracious Destinations}

Dear Bride-to-Be: 
You always want your wedding to be in a beautiful setting: whether a large cathedral or cozy chapel; an ornate temple or a lush blue-water beach; a backyard garden or an elegant historical mansion!


There are many lovely and grand old homes around the world (some are even castles) that have been restored into "destination" wedding venues....places that seem to call forth the beauty and magic of ancient rituals. I just visited one in Mobile, Alabama: the elegant Bragg-Mitchell Mansion in all its antebellum glory, nestled among graceful live oaks and palmettos. (I was there to give my Downton Abbey costume talk and have a book signing.)

Having an intimate "sense of place" for their wedding is important to many couples...a sense that they feel "at home" yet transported to something moving, even spiritual. So wherever you choose to gather for wedding vows and deep connections with family and friends—close to home or faraway—choose from your heart and that intimacy will guide your strong sense of place all the way "home."

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

Bragg-Mitchell Mansion dining table set for Morning Coffee
during my "Downton Abbey" presentation. 

[Images courtesy of Bragg-Mitchell Mansion]

{Open Your Heart}

Dear Bride-to-Be:

With all the commercial hype, canned traditions, and tantalizing nonsense out there, it’s an extra daunting time for whomever is planning a wedding—whether it’s the bride, her mother or both! So several years ago, I created “Open Your Heart” CDs for these busy, task-oriented women. Not only as a way to support their ease and well-being, but the short, guided relaxations were also designed to help their choices come from the heart. (I’ve been to so many weddings where the character, soul and intimacy have been squeezed out of the wedding day because of the stress to “get it right” instead of relaxing and simply “sharing your love.”) 

 

So I introduced my CDs —a version for brides and another for all women—at one of those big, splashy bridal extravaganzas. During the afternoon event in the hotel’s grand ballroom, my team and I greeted the rush of visitors—hundreds of brides with their wedding entourage in tow. And for those brides, mothers and members of the wedding party who paused at our booth, I shared the benefits of slowing down during their wedding planning time for a few moments of relaxation and ease. (You’ll “feel better” and “look more beautiful”—and with some of the brides I threw in “have better sex” to really get their attention!) Some of the brides-to-be looked rather bewildered when I mentioned “relaxation,” reacting with words like: “I’m just too busy/tense/crazed to slow down and relax!” Hmmmmm.



As many thousands of brides as I had worked with over the years in my former shop by the time I did this event, I figured I’d be met with some resistance to the notion “that being calm and not reactive” equaled  happier relationships. (So the nature of the reactions I received certainly didn’t bode well for peaceful marriages and family life ahead.) Nevertheless, it wasn’t surprising that just as many of the mothers of future brides and grooms spoke up with: “I’m the one who needs this CD!”

I think we can all use support in slowing down, relaxing, and bringing ease to our bodies, mind and spirit no matter the tasks we’ve taken on. As the wise Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh prompts us: “Breathe, smile and go slowly.” (And I say, a more beautiful bride is a more relaxed, in-her-heart bride!)

Find a way to ease your noisy mind...remember, deeeeeeep easy breaths. Create your own ritual of stillness—a meditative womanly ritual for deep relaxation—one that would be a gift of heart-opening ease (a gift to you, to him, to all!) Even if it’s only five minutes of quiet solitude a day: in the early morning before your busy day begins or as an afternoon break; after a bath to continue your relaxation or before bed to support deep rest. Find your quiet hub; find your inner stillness. Open your heart.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photographs: J Nichols Photography]

{Divine Connections}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
The color blue, long considered a "bridal" color, has divine connections. Blue is the color associated with Mary, mother of Jesus, and with Brigit, the Celtic goddess of healing and the arts. Brigit, called the maiden goddess of springtime, was also known as Bride—who gave her name to a woman about to wed. Therefore, as a bride, you are the namesake of a goddess!

Use your time well in this legendary bridal spotlight. Start or continue practices that take care of you...mind, body and spirit: Journaling; eating healthy foods; doing stretch exercises; breathing slower and deeper; having some quiet, reflective time each day. This helps keep your mind clear, your body vibrant, and your heart open to receive and give love. It's just naturally what a goddess would do!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from  Cornelia

ps: And if you're feeling that "goddess vibe," then you'll love my book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself....

[Photograph: Priscilla Wannamaker]

{Choices of Your Heart}

Dear Bride-to-Be:

“Wearing a wedding gown is so weird,” a bride was quoted in The Bride Revealed, a book by wedding photographer Leslie Barton. “It’s not like any other dress. I felt so grown-up and elegant in it. At the same time, it felt like a costume. Even during my wedding, when I saw my reflection, I was startled. ‘Who is that?’ It’s such an important transformation, from the usual jeans and T-shirt to a formal wedding gown. I felt it strengthened the commitment, that what I said on this day would be with me for the rest of my life.”

This bride reveals something that you might soon find out for yourself. That your wedding gown, and all the other rituals you use for your wedding—the music, flowers, exchange of rings, even your vows—are all outward expressions of your inner self. They are a reflection of what you hold in your heart and meant to, as this bride shared, “strengthen your commitment” to all you hold dear.

And you thought your wedding dress was only to make you look like a dream! It’s not only a “transformation from jeans to formal gown,” but also a transformation of your heart—deepening your commitment to your best self. Make the things you choose for your wedding, choices of your “big old beautiful open heart!”

Love. Listen. Let go.

....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Leslie Barton]

{Truly Divine}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
As you are choosing flowers for your wedding, remember that the sense of smell is considered “the most ancient and magical sense, acting as a sort of sensual medium between heaven and earth,” according to author Christopher Bamford. “A scent or perfume was thought to express the inner essence or spiritual nature of a thing,” he added. Therefore using fragrant flowers for your wedding is like sharing something truly divine!

Use your wedding planning time to express your inner essence. When you feel yourself getting stressed or when your “to do” list keeps getting longer, pause…take a quiet moment for yourself and do this little exercise:

• Close your eyes and take several slow, deep breaths ... putting your attention within, gently and slowly breathe in and out until you find your center.
• Once feeling more centered, now imagine roots from the bottoms of your feet sinking deep into the Earth, grounding you.
• With this sense of feeling more centered and grounded, imagine your heart opening ... and opening even wider with each easy, deep breath.

Now in every gesture and expression you offer to others, give the most generous and grateful version of you—that’s your inner essence! Follow the lead of those fragrant flowers: Don't be stingy with your essence...spritz everyone you meet today with something divine! A heartfelt bit of you....

Love. Listen. Let go...
...with love from Cornelia

[Photography: Daniel Sheenan]

{Vintage Inspiration}



Le Petit Echo de la Mode - 1923
from "Head to Toe Fashion Art"


Dear Bride-to-Be:
Ideas for vintage-inspired fashion are all around! From Downton Abbey to Mad Men, there's a pretty vintage vibe availabe to sweep you off your feet! Or as Elle UK magazine says, there's a "wealth of inspiration for modern brides hoping to channel a hint of vintage glamour."

How about vintage with a French twist? The website "Head to Toe Fashion Art" has a lovely gallery of rare bridal prints from 1863 to 1952 where you'll find some old-fashioned charm.

The Victoria and Albert museum in London is a treasure trove of inspirition from the past. There's a wonderful online gallery of wedding gowns, accessories and jewelry as well as a beautiful book showcasing the best of their collection: The Wedding Dress: 300 Years of Bridal Fashions by Edwina Erhman. Then there are a myriad of shops and online spots featuring vintage wedding gowns and bridal accoutrements like the designer and couture items at The Frock.

 

Wherever you find inspiration for your wedding, be sure to inspire your heart! Here's a little exercise: Take several deep, easy soothing breaths and imagine them flowing in 'n out of your heart. Follow your breath and find your center 'til you can ground yourself inside your heart...your hub. Then whatever creative ideas you discover that may "take your breath away," you're always ready to reach out with love.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from  Cornelia

ps: The "Head to Toe Fashion Art" website adds to their gallery as they find beautiful, old wedding prints. Check with them often for a bit of vintage inspiration!

{Say 'Thank You' Before Anything Else}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Don't forget to bring your grateful heart along when planning your wedding! It's so easy for couples to get caught up in the commercial glitz of wedding planning that no wonder some weddings appear to be done more "by the numbers" than "from the heart"....

And yes, numbers do play a big part in planning a wedding: the size of your guest list; how many attendants to have; the cost of the reception; the size of your wedding's carbon imprint; and etcetera! Yet, no matter how you "count the ways" (staying within your budget, being as "green" as possible, or including all of his relatives), you're busy counting while planning a wedding. So how to turn it around so that numbers aren't a source of stress, but simply a reminder of all your blessings?

It's not always easy to get the numbers to match your heart's desire in the simplest of circumstances, but it becomes especially challenging when planning a wedding. With weddings – these microcosms of real life – you're attempting to stuff so much into one event. And you do want to please everyone, even when you know that's impossible! Hmmmm. (I'm reminded of the quote from writer Eric Hoffer: "The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.")

 

So consider this: 

• What if planning your wedding became about "counting your blessings" first, then taking a head count second?
• What if being grateful was always first on your "to do" list?
• How would it change your life if everything followed "thank you"?

Whether you have only a dozen people at your wedding or you fill a grand ballroom, the spirit of your wedding comes from the gratitude in your heart and how you share it, yes? The thirteenth century German theologian Meister Eckhart said: "If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice." So if indeed saying "thank you" is like saying a prayer, then offer up your gratitude in all the ways you can, and the blessings of your wedding day will surely be abundant!

 

A beautiful bride is a woman who says "thank you" even without speaking a word.

 

Love. Listen. Let go.

...with love from Cornelia

 

[Photographs: David Willems]

{Five Minutes to Ease}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Yes, you’ve heard me say over and over how important it is to have a little quiet reverie in your day during your busy wedding planning time. And you’ve said, “I want to, but just don’t have the time!”

Okay, try this. And don’t add it to your “to do” list—a list that’s much too long anyway! And don’t think of it as “something else to do,” but more like a luscious gift to give yourself. Just say: “I’m taking care of myself inside and out today!” (And did you know that when you are more relaxed and centered, you are also more creative and loving?)

Start now...it only takes five minutes, or less. YOU deserve it!

Sitting quietly with your eyes closed and breathing through your nose, count each deep, slow inhale (one) and long, soft exhale (two), inhale (three), exhale (four); continue slowly until you get to thirty. And if you lose count, just start over at number one. (Like planning your wedding, it’s not a race to the finish line; it’s a journey to enjoy as you explore your true heart’s desire....which tends to show up inside that inner quiet.)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Cheryl Wiles of arisit i]

{A Girl-Chat Reminder}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
At a recent series of book signings for The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself, I had some lovely chats with visitors at my table—where there was a basket of pretty vintage linen handkerchiefs with other bridal accessories I had for sale. And so many times the chats turned to why a bride needs a handkerchief!

Therefore in the spirit of a friendly woman-to-woman reminder, I thought I’d share one of the dozens of RitualWise Bridal Notes included in my book:

 

Let’s have a serious girl-to-girl chat! As modern and savvy as you are, you know that sometimes “old-fashioned” is the way to go. So be sure to have a “serviceable” handkerchief with you during your wedding ceremony.  

It’s perhaps the most sensible and practical thing you can do on your wedding day: for tears, a runny nose, damp palms, or for dabbing his moist brow.

Trust me…don’t go down the aisle without one! 

In the days when I had my designer bridal store (where I always kept a stock of “best-selling” pretty vintage handkerchiefs), I went to hundreds of weddings. And the most frequent “mistake” I saw was a bride at the altar without something to discreetly take care of a runny nose. (And you don’t need an “extra hand” for your hankie. Just tuck it into your palm for easiest access.)
 Part of our “feminine smarts” is to be able to take care of the little things gracefully and the big things with even more grace and favor. These practical—and sometimes old-fashioned—things (like having a “serviceable” hankie) can add ease and comfort to nervous times…and make a beautiful bride even more beautiful.

 .

 

And for more of these girl-chat reminders, you may just need to get your own copy of The Bride’s Ritual Guide—because who else is going to tell you these things?

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia




ps: The Bride’s Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself became an Amazon bestseller when it was released almost three years ago so I hope the word is spreading about the need for brides to carry a hankie down the aisle—plus other fem-fem tricks of the bridal trade! Click here to order an autographed copy or two of the book—one for you and one for anyone who loves stories from the heart—and receive some free gifts as well.

pps: I’m continuing my sabbatical from weekly updates to the LETTERS TO A BRIDE blog so I can finish my new book, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride: How Princess Diana Rescued the Damsel in Distress, for release next year.

I hope you enjoy the autumn season wherever you are and whatever life-changing adventure you are up to...and I will stay at work in my mountain writing loft with “the princess”!!

[Photograph courtesy of North Carolina Dream Weddings.]

{The Wish-Fulfilling Tree & the Princess Bride}

Dear Bride-To-Be:
Did you ever read the book or see the film, The Princess Bride? I thought you'd enjoy a post on my "End of the Fairy-Tale Bride" blog that shares the deeper meanings that this fairy tale presents. Sharing the ancient story of the magical "wish-fulfilling tree," it's a reminder that when we trust the messages of our inner spirit -- our intuitive wisdom -- then our heart's desire comes true. (And it may be different from what your mind imagined!)

When you're a bride, your woman's intuition is highly enhanced -- so use it! It's like having your very own "wish- fulfilling tree. (Take some deep breaths, look within and listen.) Trust your heart's intuitive lead and you'll be able to see beyond any limitations....

Click here to read the charming mythology of The Princess Bride. (Enjoy its reminder to look a little deeper at things, people, situations...there is always more than what meets the eye! And be ready to be enchanted.)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride is also the name of my upcoming book...due for release next spring. Stay tuned for more news!

{Attending a Bride}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
     In preparing for my upcoming book, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride (about surprising ways Princess Diana exposed romantic myths that women still hold on to), I read how Elizabeth and David Emanuel, co-designers of her famously sumptuous royal wedding gown, developed a strong bond with Diana. They became personal confidantes in addition to her main wardrobe advisors.

     In my experience working with thousands of brides in my former bridal art-to-wear shop in Atlanta in the 1980s and 90s, I understand how that happens—and how special it can be for the bride-to-be! Here’s an excerpt from my book (to be released next year) that shares about this uniquely feminine and intimate relationship:

For my customers, the gown fittings at my shop gave the bride a chance to “cocoon” a bit; escape into the dreamy, feminine world of silks and laces and be the center of attention. She could tell her story to a rapt audience of designers and costume advisors as well as hear my folklore tales of wedding history. In this secluded haven, the bride could be away from the more mundane decisions in her regular world, and receive counseling and reassurance while freely expressing herself with this new comforting and attentive community of women.

My intention was for the bride’s fittings to be nurturing and self-reflecting experiences; an occasion for the bride-to-be to stand in the midst of her rite-of-passage and “find herself”—becoming more centered and grounded as she learned about her bridal legacy. And in so doing, be reminded that during all the wedding hoopla, the key was to keep her attention on her relationships: her relationship with her heart, with her family, with her partner, and

what they were building together.

   I hope that as a bride you have a chance to enjoy your own “royal” version of escaping into the dreamy, feminine world of silks and laces and be the center of attention. Look for relationships with wedding professionals that nurture and honor you. Be sure that you are lovingly attended to. And have people around that will gently remind you what’s at the heart of the relationship you and your partner are building together. That’s what being attended to is all about!

 

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia
 
[Bottom Photograph: Jason Hudson]

[Stay tuned for news of the release of my new book: THE END OF THE FAIRY-TALE BRIDE: Princess Diana’s Legacy Reframed {Shattering the Princess Myth & Freeing the Damsel in Distress}]

{Be Quiet With Yourself}

Dear Bride-To-Be:

The Lebanese poet Kahlil Gibran told the world about a hundred years ago that “your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.” Now I know there is a lot of hustle ’n bustle around planning a wedding, and oddly enough, it doesn’t always include the language of the heart. Sometimes the pressure builds and harsh words are spoken. So perhaps if you included more “silence” as the poet says, words of love become the main language!

Conversations With God author Neale Donald Walsch advises us to cultivate the ability to listen to and learn the language of your heart...and let there be quiet:

Listen to your heart. Practice it. Produce it. Perfect it. It is not that difficult. Just be quiet with yourself. And for heaven’s sake, stop listening to your mind. You will not find the truth there. You may find the answer, but it will not be the truth unless it coincides with the answer in your heart.

You think there is more to know about life than this, but there is not. Your heart holds the key. Your heart holds the wisdom. Your heart holds the future. Your mind knows nothing but the past. It imagines the future will be just like yesterday, so it makes it decisions based on that. Only your heart can see beyond memory’s horizon.

Take a deep breath and breathe in and out of your heart until you hear the silence. (The practice can be fun...and it’s worth every quiet, productive, heart-full moment.) Then go and have a beautiful, full-of-love wedding and life...with time to be quiet with yourself.
 
Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia
 
[Photograph: The Nichols]

{A Grateful Heart}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Do you think that abundance is limited ... that good fortune skips a day in your life? Wise spiritual guides tell us that what we might consider as lack of abundance or a misfortune is actually an opportunity to open our hearts even wider ... a reminder to be thankful for what we do have. It seems blessings come a’calling to a grateful heart!

Over two thousand years ago, the Roman philosopher Cicero said “a grateful heart is the greatest virtue.” We receive gifts each day that we may not recognize as gifts, but anytime we express appreciation for the experience we’ve been given—no matter what it is—then our hearts open that much more.

Keep your heart available for love in abundant proportions . . . and abundance is yours. Remember that it’s a generous dose of gratitude that returns you to the virtue and “fortunes” of love.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Sarah Merians Photography]

{Easy Does It}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
On your wedding day, set aside a bit of “just for you” meditative time to relax, center yourself and get grounded . . . a moment to simply melt into your heart. For help in relaxing, you can listen to soft music, gently stretch your body, read a favorite love poem, or do a soothing deep-breathing exercise. (Or a combination of all of them!)

As you relax during your little “wedding day reverie,” let go of any noisy thoughts and allow the world to get quieter so you can hear your inner voice. What messages are you hearing? Whatever comes up, just breathe love into it.

Easy does it. As you continue to enjoy your reverie moments, take more deep, slow, soft breaths and relax more deeply and allow your body to remember that sweet moment of “falling in love.” Breathe in the feeling so you can recreate it fresh and new—and take that feeling with you throughout the day. Share it with friends, family, strangers.

Like love, weddings are about inclusion. Be the goddess of love today!

Love, listen, let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

{Relax & Go Have a Glorious Day}

Dear Bride-To-Be:
There is a wise Chinese proverb that says: “Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”

Wherever you are in your wedding planning process—just thinking about it, in the middle of making lists, only a few days away from your wedding—it’s probably a busy time for you! Yet it doesn’t have to be tense; you don’t have to be tense. So take a deep...slow...easy breath and just relax. Although it may seem at odds with how you feel since being tense has become the new “normal” in our hectic world, but be a bold trailblazer! Shine some light in all the frenzy and change your default setting to “relax.” 

I know, I know. In our busy noisy world, we have made relaxation “hard”—but you can make it easy and lusciously refreshing for yourself. One way is to simply sit alone quietly for a few minutes in a peaceful spot ... slowly, softly, deeply breathing in and breathing out. Paying attention to your breathing is a chance to quiet your busy mind and allow your body to be at rest. This little practice would be a gift of ease and heart-opening softness for yourself ... even if it’s only five minutes of quiet solitude a day. (It will make a difference in how you feel, how you look and how you see the world.) Do this for yourself and by doing something relaxing for yourself, you’re doing it for everyone around you.

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” So be your authentically beautiful self and slow down, breathe deeply and relax. Then go have a glorious day.

Love. Listen. Let go.

....with love from  Cornelia

[Photographs: Josie Miner]

{Wedding Memories & Dr. Seuss}

Dear Bride-To-Be:
You never know what your wedding guests will take away from your wedding. Of course, you're planning a ceremony of the heart for your rite-of-passage into marriage; an event filled with love and reverence and all you hold dear. And when you do that, your guests also take away something deeply moving and life changing for them as well!

Here is what author and counselor Arielle Ford wrote about being at her niece's recent wedding:

We just returned from Dallas where we attended the wedding of our niece Sarah and her beloved, Mark. It was a beautiful garden affair, at sunset, with a brass quartet and a very enthusiastic, loving and gracious minister.
The bride was stunning, the groom beaming, and one of the highlights of the ceremony for me was a recital of Sarah's all-time favorite Dr. Seuss poem that expressed the depth and the whimsy of the happy couple:

I will love you in the park, and I will love you in the dark.

I will love you through good or bad,

When you're happy and when your sad.

I will love you when you're rich or when you're poor and in a ditch

And I will have and I will hold,

Ten years from now a thousand fold.

And now we're here at this new start,

So I'll start by loving you with my whole heart.

Whatever poetic readings you choose for your wedding -- from Dr. Seuss to Shakespeare -- be sure you include your "whole heart" in all of your wedding plans so everyone involved gets to share the love!
 
Love. Listen. Let go.

...with love from Cornelia

 

[Photograph: Ian Grant]

{Celebrating YOU Every Day}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I’ve interviewed hundreds of women through the years with questions about their wedding (or weddings.) Some of them were brides only a few months before and for others it had been decades. Women usually remember the moment they first saw themselves in their wedding gown. Some recall that it was like seeing a cherished, intimate part of themselves seldom shared with anyone.

Wedding dresses can evoke deeply personal, interlinking stories as women wistfully describe details of the design of the dress or how wearing it made them feel. “Every woman should see herself looking uniquely breathtaking, in something tailored to celebrate her body,” Susan Jane Gilman exclaims in her entertaining book, Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress.

There is something extra feminine about being a bride that you don’t want to miss ... a chance to explore a sense of outer and inner beauty, tenderness and strength, and a nurturing spirit. These wedding planning times are precious moments that invite you to celebrate your womanliness. And you don’t have to wait for your wedding day, or stop doing it on your wedding day, or even have a wedding day for such a celebration! You can celebrate you every day—body and spirit.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

{Take a Deep Breath & Choose with Love}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Be patient with yourself during this busy wedding planning time. Sooooo many decisions to make--don't let frustration take over. Trust your intuition and keep your vision on the bigger picture--your well-being and your relationship--and allow the love and support you find there be a buoy for you. What you need will show up at the perfect time.

Here's a tip: Use the power of your breath and take a thoughtful pause before making a decision. Breathe deeply and slowly (inhaling and exhaling through your nose when you can). Let your breath settle you, and in that quiet space, pause. Inside that pause is the here and now...the present moment...a gift...all you need to know...the perfect you. Now, choose with love. (And see what a pleasure your choices become!)

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph by: Brandon Bannon]

{Does This Path Have a Heart?}

Dear Bride-to-Be: This may sound a bit strange to say, but when you're planning your wedding, remember it's all about the love! Yes, there's the dress and the cake and the band and the flowers and the shoes and the vows and the list goes on. There are scads of "things" to be included and make decisions about.

But remember, that's only the "stuff" -- the trappings of the wedding. It's easy to get so caught up with the "things" that you lose your connection to your relationship, your family, your friends -- your focus on the love that brought all of this together. And a wedding that's been planned without the open heart of inclusion is a wedding where intimacy is missing.

“Weddings are increasingly notable for their amazing lack of intimacy, their evolution into industry,” NPR commentator Jacki Lyden stated in her story, “Spectacle of Matrimony,” leading up the wedding of Chelsea Clinton in the summer of 2010. Speaking about weddings in our celebrity-driven, appearance crazed culture, she explained how “they’ve evolved into must-haves and appointment-list mega-spectacles.”

But Chelsea's wedding -- a large, celebrity-list affair -- as well as the recent wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton -- an even larger, celebrity-list and royal affair -- were intimate, deeply personal expressions of love and relationship. Grand and regal, yes; however, you could feel the love and intimacy, the sense of relatedness, and the open-hearted connections throughout the celebration.

So it's not about the size of the wedding; we see that large weddings can be intimate and tender. It's all about you opening your heart (to everyone) and have your love come first in all the decisions you make. Keep this quote at your wedding planning fingertips: "Look at every path closely … then ask yourself one question: Does this path have a heart?"

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Top Photograph: Genevieve de Manio]

{Be a 'Royal' Couple}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Of course most of the world knows about the upcoming royal wedding. I enjoyed reading how Prince William and Kate Middleton have set up a "Charitable Gift Fund" as a way to share the abundance of their day with various charities that are dear to the couple.

Which lead me to think about "regular couples" (well, at least not royal) and the whole notion of engagement and wedding presents in our materialistic culture. We're all aware how commercial weddings have become with so much focus on appearances, "gift registries," and a planning-by-formula mindset. And we've all experienced how this can diminish the intimacy of the wedding celebration.

The background of giving wedding gifts was a way for family and friends to support a young couple to have some essentials to begin their life together. Now I understand modern couples may need similar support and "things" to set up housekeeping...and I'm not suggesting that you cancel your gift registry!

But taking a lead from William and Kate (even though your income level may not be linked to the riches of the British monarchy) perhaps consider some kind of "charitable gift fund" of your own. Like suggesting, if someone is so inclined, to donate to your favorite charity in lieu of sending a gift to you.

Now isn't that what love's all about?

Love. Listen. Let go....
...with love from Cornelia

ps: You may enjoy my new blog...a companion to my upcoming book: The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride: How Princess Diana Exposed the 'Princess Myth' for All Women