{The Essence of Rituals}

Dear Bride-to-Be: Have you thought about the rituals you're using for your wedding ceremony? Perhaps some are part of your family or community's customs, or a practice of a particular religious service, while perhaps others are traditions you've read about and want to incorporate into your own ceremony.

The essence of rituals comes out of the ancient past from early cultures where one’s life was deeply connected to nature and the spirit world. They may come from the past, but rituals are alive and creative, full of energy as vibrant as what you’re willing to put into them. The magic is not the ritual itself but where it takes you. And that journey is within.

“The origin of rituals overlaps our own origin to the beginning of the human story—to the core of what it is to be human,” scholars declare. When we participate in these ancient rituals today, we tap into the essence of our own origin. Even in our consumer-driven, frenetic technological world, rituals—when used consciously—are a way to stay linked to our true inner nature.

Learn about rituals, see what resonates with you, and choose from your heart.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph by Jason Hudson]

{The Woman Revealed}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
“ ‘My veil was magical. And so simple. Just one layer of tulle about six feet long. It floated in the wind as I walked down the aisle,’ ” a bride expresses in the charming book The Bride Revealed. When I had my bridal art-to-wear store years ago, I encouraged a bride to wear a veil—it seemed to complete the ritual of her costume, and I knew she would love how it made her feel.

I also liked how wearing a veil created a rather ethereal quality, bringing a lovely stillness to the bride’s presence, supporting her inner transformation. As I dressed and fitted brides in the intimacy of my shop, I shared this impression: Imagine the bridal veil as representing the mystery of womanhood. Wrapped in a gossamer cloud, the veil reveals the woman!

Then some enchantment would always follow. As I attached a veil to the headpiece in the bride’s hair, I watched closely as she turned to her image in the mirror. Her eyes widened, her face softened, her heart opened and then a little gasp as she looked at her reflection, like some long lost recognition remembered.

What would you like revealed during this rather mysterious and womanly rite-of-passage you are moving through? It’s a journey into a deeper part of your true self . . . just imagine the possibilities to be “unconcealed.” Look inside to your awareness. Your heart’s desire is waiting to speak to you.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph by David Willems]

{Listen to Your Heart}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
When the wedding planning bustle spins you away from yourself and you’re feeling a bit frazzled, what do you do to ease back into your heart center? It's important to take a quiet moment to listen to your heart each day. Close your eyes and take a few deep, soft breaths and listen in. What’s the message you hear?

Listen deep into the stillness so the message can get through. Fine-tune your heart radio! Listen for what soothes and supports your best self. Allow yourself to let love in from all directions and from all of life’s voices. When you find the quiet inside, you realize you’re not alone . . . your inner spirit is always there to guide and nurture you.

However, sometimes it’s not easy to find that quiet moment of relaxation and contemplation in your day or evening. However, your spirit calls for it! Take a walk in the park, in the woods, down the street, along a lane, beside a lake. Go sit by a tree or in a corner . . . or at least somewhere by yourself for a few moments of quiet each day. (A closet will do!) And listen for love.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph by Priscilla Wannamaker]

{Part of the Mystery}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Are you planning to follow the little folkloric rhyme, “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence for your shoe,” on your wedding day? We actually don't know the exact history or age of the now legendary rhyme, dear to generations of women, but the mystery may be part of the appeal and why modern brides continue to follow its “instruction” for their wedding.

I believe that part of its longevity is not because it’s simple and quaint and easy to follow, but because it calls forth your feminine nature and becomes a gesture of gratitude and inclusion at times when words are not always easily available.(Like if you asked your grandmother if she had a handkerchief  for you to carry on your wedding day; then you are including her in your special day and in your heart.)

As a bride, whether you borrow your grandmother’s handkerchief; carry your aunt’s beaded handbag; wear a friend’s heirloom veil; pin a blue silk ribbon to your corset; or tuck an old coin into your shoe or purse, you have put something magical into motion. This little bridal rhyme, in its intimate whimsy, links you to a long lineage of brides and to the beauty and mystery of womanhood.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Beth Ely for Missy McLamb Photography]

{Blue Forget-Me-Nots}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Flowers are important to brides not only for their beauty, but flowers seem to speak an irresistible language of love. For instance, folktales abound with stories of the romantic blue forget-me-not . . . the delicate flower that seems to reflect the color of the sky. In the charming language of flowers—where meanings are assigned to flowers and herbs—the forget-me-not speaks of human longing for loyalty and lastingness. No wonder that through the ages, poets speak of this captivating flower assisting people in having their heart’s desire.

What is your heart’s desire? Ask yourself that question, especially whenever you feel a little “off” . . . and be honest, be loyal to yourself. If your desire is hard to express, then look deeper and let whatever is in your heart spill forth like so many forget-me-nots from a secret garden! What shows up may not only get you back on track, but something deliciously abundant will grow from it.

Maybe all flowers—whatever you choose for your wedding—are “forget-me-nots” ... a sweet reminder to share our love! Give love away, and your heart’s desire magically appears.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

{Love Pats Left & Right}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I've read that the original custom regarding brides and lucky coins was for the bride to place her sixpence coin into her left shoe. Is that because ancient wisdom knew that the left side of the body is connected to the right side of the brain—your intuitive, creative side—therefore, becoming more of a guarantee for prosperity and even spiritual guidance?

On your wedding day, if there is no comfortable spot in "either" shoe to tuck your sixpence or penny, then perhaps tuck it into the hem of your dress or in your bodice (on the left side!) Or slip it in his left pocket as you meet him at the altar. Wherever it goes, give it a little love pat to extend its abundance a million fold!

Give yourself a little love pat right now—on your left shoulder, then your right shoulder for balance! Being your own best friend is an abundant gift indeed. So listen to your intuition, use your creativity and give yourself what feeds your feminine spirit, your love energy, and your generous heart. Now, go share those love pats—left and right!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Priscilla Wannamaker]