{A Place of Honor}

Dear Bride-to-Be: 

“Even the most understated ceremony involves a certain respect for ritual and pageantry, and no one plays more of a significant role than the bride’s attendants,” wrote designer Vera Wang. “From the youngest flower girl to the maid of honor, they provide a prelude to the much anticipated coming of the bride. They also occupy a place of honor and trust throughout the celebration.”

Then there is simply a practical need for bridal attendants since many wedding gowns require assistance to get buttoned- or laced- or bustled-up. Here is a ritual that goes back to antiquity. “Egyptian nobles,” for instance, wrote author Maria McBride-Mellinger, “rarely groomed and dressed themselves: instead, they yielded themselves to the ministrations of serving maidens in an early version of our modern ritual of bridesmaids dressing the bride.”

There is an intriguing history and romance to all wedding rituals...but none so personal as your attendants. Your bridal attendants honor you as well as assist you; they enhance the pageantry of your ceremony and they support you with their love. Celebrate their “place of honor” just as you appreciate their myriad number of tasks accomplished in the coming together of your beautiful wedding day! 

Love. Listen. Let go.

...with love from Cornelia

ps: for more about wedding attendants, click her for a favorite past blog post which is also an excerpt from my upcoming book, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride, due for a mid-February release!

[Photograph courtesy of Vera Wang]

{Attending the Bride}

Bridesmaids of Victoria, the Princess Royal, circa 1858

Dear Bride-to-Be: 
The way brides choose their bridesmaids changes just like the fashion for selecting bouquet styles or gown necklines. Brides invite friends and family members to be part of their wedding party for all sorts of reasons—and it’s not always about being “attended to.” Sometimes it’s to “out do” the last wedding in town or copy-cat a celebrity ceremony in the news; or perhaps some brides choose attendants out of a sense of obligation or just whatever it takes to feel like a princess!

Princess Elizabeth and her attendants, circa 1947

British historian Dulcie Ashdown described Queen Victoria’s 1840 wedding: “Behind her came a dozen bridesmaids, the daughters of peers dressed in white with white-rose wreaths and carrying her long train.” However, some attendants were heard to comment that if the train was longer they could be more graceful and not have to “bunch up” as they did! Princess Elizabeth, later Queen Elizabeth II, had eight bridesmaids in attendance for her 1947 wedding, including her sister Margaret, but it was her page-boys sporting kilts in the Royal tartan who carried her long, heavily beaded silk tulle court train.

Kate Middleton with her sister attending, circa 2011

Over sixty years later, when a poised Kate Middleton wed the Queen’s grandson William, the future Duchess was blessed to have a close relationship with her sister who, as the only adult bridesmaid, was the one to carry the bride’s heavy train as well as attend her sister in other ways. Dressed for the wedding in cream silk by the bride's couturier, Pippa had also been available to help with tasks during the busy months of wedding planning, be good company and offer womanly encouragement—something every bride needs, royal or otherwise!

Love. Listen. Let go.

...with love from Cornelia

[This is an excerpt from my upcoming book The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride: {Volume One} For Better or Worse, How Princess Diana Rescued the Great White Wedding. Stay tuned for publishing news!]

{All Dressed in Vintage White}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
As a costume historian, I often write articles and give talks on a particular fashion from the past and tell stories not only about how it expressed a woman’s style, but also her personal sense of creativity—and how it influenced wedding fashion of that era.

Like the über feminine white “lingerie dresses” popular in the late 1890s into the 19-teens which, ironically, “deftly impersonated a Victorian lady’s ‘unmentionables’” as author Kristina Seleshanko explained.* These dresses were filmy white confections—usually sheer cotton lawn or batiste, even tissue silk—deliciously trimmed with inserts of lace, floral embroidery, and tiny pin-tucks and worn as special-occasion dresses for warm weather soirees and ceremonies (even for outings at the beach!)

Fashionable with laced-up corsets underneath for a hourglass or S-curve silhouette and lushly up-swept ‘Gibson Girl’ hairstyles, high-society ladies wore fancy varieties of “lingerie dresses” to Ascot, spring boat races, or just to promenade in the park, topped with large elaborate hats. But these “little white dresses” were very democratic; with the popularity of the sewing machine, most all women (young and old) were able to wear some version of the favored frock. They also became de rigueur for tea-dances, graduations and other rites-of-passage ceremonies—even as a wedding dress since they were often an Edwardian middle-class girl’s “best dress.”

A bride of the time would add some “bridal-ey” accessories for her wedding day like a wreath of wax orange blossoms as well as tiny bouquets of them pinned here and there on her dress. She would also wear a gossamer tulle or lace veil—perhaps one that had been her mother’s—and of course she’d carry a bouquet of fresh flowers and herbs.

When I had my bridal art-to-wear store in Atlanta in the 1980s and 90s, my designers restored many of these old “lingerie dresses” that I’d found searching antique markets and fairs. Sometimes they were for brides, sometimes for her attendants, but always for someone who had a special eye for such vintage beauty. It was as though you could feel the intimacy of the intricate needlework detail…like you became a part of their feminine legacy.

What are you wearing for your wedding? It may be a brand-new, gorgeous designer creation; or a special gown borrowed from a friend or found at a gently-worn shop; or perhaps it’s indeed a rare vintage dress from another era with its own unique story to tell of romance and mystery! Whatever you’re wearing, remember to add your personal touch that includes a bit of old-fashioned spirit and a heart full of love.

Love. Listen. Let go.

…with love from Cornelia

*ps: Read more about “lingerie dresses” on Kristina’s delightful Vintage Connection website.

 

[Top photo: Courtesy of Historic Mobile Preservation Society]

{You Don't Have To Be Someone Else}

 

Dear Bride-to-Be:
"Women are having more fun with fashion in general...and they're bringing that spirit to their weddings," writes a Martha Stewart Weddings blog post called Bridesmaid Dress 101. I love that women are playing with choices and infusing their creativity, passion and good taste into their wedding celebration. "You don't have to become someone else (read more traditional than you are) for that one day," advises designer Peter Som.

And I really like how the designer shares with brides about selecting dresses for their attendants, "Seven Tips for Dressing Your Wedding Party." Each tip is about fashion and looking more beautiful, yet it's wrapped in a bit of wise counsel inspiring a beautifully intuitive life:

• Don't Go Changing
• Please Yourself
• Turn the Lights On (or Off)
• Accessorize Wisely
• Be Sensitive to the Season
• Remember, Prints Have Their Limits
• Consult Mother Nature

I found in these ideas a reminder that everything in life can be a message for your spirit...if you just look beyond the surface and see into the heart of the matter. Now that's really beautiful!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia



[Photographs: Martha Stewart Weddings]